Turning Hate Into Love

16 08 2010

Have you ever been bullied, made fun of, looked down upon or ignored? Have you ever been rejected by someone who previously extended love but a life circumstance had flipped his affection into hate? Have you ever experienced a prejudice based on someone else’s beliefs? Have you been wronged based on another’s right? Prejudice and a difference in beliefs has always been used as an excuse to spread hate. It has separated families, created the downfall of nations, and caused war and terror throughout time. Hate in the name of beliefs has caused more destruction than all diseases and natural calamities put together. Many have used religion or god as their reason to separate, punish or kill. Other’s have used race and other’s have used a difference in lifestyle. What causes such intense emotions that one would want to disconnect from family, separate themselves from a life long friend or have the desire to kill a whole group of people for what seems to be an insignificant difference of opinion, lifestyle or color?

Human action is motivated by either fear or love. Fear comes from the illusion of lack of control. When someone believes that another will hurt him, or is responsible for the pain of people he loves, fear and feelings of aggression toward that person will kick in. He thinks he’s trying to protect himself. Our survival instinct will overtake even logic in order to keep us safe. We see evidence of this in the countless holocaust stories that spread as far back as biblical times into our present moment. Nations have been moved to hate and kill like a virus, from leaders spreading fear and linking it toward the chosen group to hate.

A lack of understanding on a subject can sometimes lead people to come up with their own conclusions. Making assumptions based only on ideas rather than fact are drawn from events of the past, ideas they were taught or their imagination. Most of us are programmed to fear the unknown. We are taught to hate what we fear. This combination is what produces so much of the pain we see in this world.

In order for us to shift from our fear, hate and pain we need to learn how to love and accept. By embracing the unknown with love and welcoming it in we not only shift ourselves out of fear but begin to shift the one we felt animosity toward, spreading the energy throughout the universe.
There has been several times in my life where I had the opportunity to practice this idea.

When I was a little girl I grew up as a religious, orthodox Jew. One Sunday afternoon I was hanging out with my friend, waiting at the bus stop to take us to the mall. As we were sitting, engaged in deep conversation a few teenage boys approached us and began to bully us, calling us names like dirty jew, Hitler should’ve finished you off, and you have no right to ride the bus or walk on the street. A young girl stood behind them in silence just watching what was going on. I looked at her and gave her a warm smile. I stood there looking at those boys full of hate and immediately began to feel sorry for the animosity they felt. I did not fully understand where that came from but knew it had nothing to do with me. We didn’t even know each other. The bus arrived and we all got on. My friend and I reasoned that since there were many people on the bus the boys would stop harassing us. We were wrong. We sat in the back of the bus where they stood over us and continued their abuse. The girl who I smiled at went up to the boys and began to yell at them. She told them to stop their abuse immediately. They looked at her dumbfounded and sat down without another word leaving their mouths.
Having a family that survived the Nazi Holocaust I couldn’t help but wonder if pre war Europe was similar for the Jews. During that incident I racked my brains as to how to handle the incident and all that came up was forgive them. They don’t understand what they are doing. They are scared of us. Spurring hatred toward them will do nothing but only make things worse. By quietly sending them love an angel came through to relieve us from our pain.
A few years later I let go of the religion and began a more spiritual path of living. During my evolvement from religion toward spirituality family members began to act in strikingly similar behavior to those boys from my teenage past. During those times I found it more difficult to separate myself from their hateful actions simply because we not only knew each other but these were people I assumed loved me. It was only after I realized that they too as those young boys are acting from fear of the unknown and therefore being controlled beyond the logical mind or their spirit. Their fear and judgement clouded any opportunity for them to accept me. It was only after I surrendered to their non acceptance and accepted their actions that I was able to be at peace.

The key thing to remember is when someone spurs anger and hatred your way, hatred is not what will get you toward happiness. Sending back anger will only give you more of what you gave. You’ve heard the expression what you give, you get back tenfold. It is in times of hatred that we have an opportunity to express love. By doing this we can heal those that don’t understand the power of love and heal ourselves.

What to do?
In Conversations With God, Book One, Neal Donald Walsh shares a beautiful suggestion, “In times of conflict, whether it is with an ex, children, business partner or friend ask yourself what would love do now?” Love is the answer to everything.

In my book The Power Within Me, coming out this fall I discuss this idea in length and bring many more examples of how I implemented love in the presence of hate and how powerfully my life shifted.

For more articles on shifting through pain to love please visit Esther’s Facebook Page at http://www.facebook.com/estherhadler#!/EstherWarrior.

Esther has a coaching program designed to help you shift out of any painful experience with grace and swiftness. To learn how you can experience a free half hour session, please contact her at EstherAdler@EstherAdler.com and put in the subject line coaching, or simply call 908 764-5672.

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2 responses

16 08 2010
lora

great blog and very very true. when does your book come out.
i hope my book spa wars will come out by thanksgiving 2010. woo hooo
it’s a long hard road.
lora
http://www.makeupwithme.com
http://www.thelashdr.com

17 08 2010
estherwarrior

Thanks Lora, AWESOME! Please let me know when it comes out. I’d love to be a part of that:) Mine too should be coming out around then. Still finishing the editing. I’m working on ways to market, do joint ventures ect.. maybe we can help each other? Anyway so good to hear from you? I’ll be back in NJ around November so maybe we can get together.

lots of love, Esther

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