Responsibility; The Path to Mastering Your Destiny

1 06 2010

Have you ever felt that your life is going nowhere fast? Did you ever experience the feeling that no matter what you did bad things happened to you? Have you ever felt bitter, unwanted, alone or abandoned? Did you ever doubt your existence? These are all very real things that many people encounter at least once in their lives. In fact many people walk around feeling that way for a large part of their lives. I know. I felt like that for a long time. My life seemed to plunder out of control and I was left breathless. I began to ask myself deep questions. I was always a deep thinker but the questions I began to ask myself were different. They were ones that induced change. The questions I asked always started with what can I do to take away the pain?, or how can I make this situation go away? I took the blame away and took responsibility. The pain I was experiencing was so great I either felt like dying or experiencing a significant change in my life. I began to create a shift. Notice the word I used, Create. That’s a big word for a lot of people. Why is it so scary? If you understand the power of that word it can mean the difference between a life of loneliness, pain, trauma and anger and love, happiness, success and freedom. It was through learning to fully take responsibility for my life and my creation that I began to shift, grow and see a significant transformation in my life. My life was so significantly altered that it moved me to write my story down and make it my life mission to help others as well. My inspirational memoir “The Power Within Me”, discusses my shift from victim to warrior. There were many lessons to learn and many challenges to overcome. After years of learning, growing, searching, and experiencing I have created a 6 step proven system to help get you out of your own way. One of those steps is responsibility. As many lessons of our human development, this step seems simple but can be difficult to implement.

I recently had a conversation with a friend who had gone through an extremely traumatic experience. Her life has taken a turn where one bad thing led to another. Her life was spiraling out of control. My friend endured severe abuse and neglect at the hands of various individuals in a fairly short time. The experiences left her breathless, numb and completely unsure on how to continue her existence. I was familiar with this pattern because I went through similar traumatic events in my life. The main theme of what I heard in our conversation was blame and revenge. Toward the end of the conversation there was progress. She fully admitted to getting herself in the nightmarish situation to begin with. That’s where the progress ended. I realized that she was not ready to make the shift, to actually fully take control and become the soul creator of her life.

I think responsibility is a scary word for most people. We see it as on our own. We now have no one to blame but ourselves if something goes wrong and for some of us that is too frightening. We are taught to look outside ourselves for help and to blame others for our problems. But what happens when you make the shift and own everything that comes your way is actually the most empowering thing you can do. By taking responsibility you can make any shift you want. You become the creator, the director, the coach, ball player or actor of your life. You guide the puppets in your play and create the David you choose to create. When things don’t work out the way you want then you can choose how to change it based on learning what works and what does not work. It’s always your choice. If you keep blaming you remain a victim. You will live your life on default, reacting instead of choosing. You will constantly create unknowingly more opportunities to feel sorry for yourself. The beauty of responsibility is that it helps you grow up and find the child within you at the same time. You can create the support you want but not from a victim/needing place but from a place of empowerment, strength and love. By becoming responsible you change not only yourself but the world.

Here is an exercise to help you implement the power of responsibility in your life. Find 3 things you perceive as challenges in your life. Next write down 3 ways for each how you are responsible. Next find a new action to implement to change those experiences. The final step is to find a blessing toward the experience or person you perceive as damaging, painful. Write it down and recite it as a mantra until you believe it. I would start with Thank you for……

By changing your belief and seeing the blessings, taking responsibility you practice self love and begin to create the life you truly desire.




3 responses

1 06 2010

Hi Esther,

I get such relief from pressure of today’s circumstances when i read your blog. I am very glad that there are many positive attributes to go to in this such time. My mom is battling against cancer, and i have been spending some time with her. I just came back home last night.

It is so good to have positive connection with some people that helps makes life easier.

Keep inspiring,
Be Bless

1 06 2010

Hey Janice,
It’s so difficult to see someone we love in so much pain. I went through that with my mother many years back.

See if you can move from watching her in pain to being with her another moment, another day? Ask her questions you’ve been putting off and share with her things you never had the chance. When/if she gets better your bond will be closer and if it’s her time you will feel grateful to have had those times, those talks. My heart is with you and your mom.
peace and blessings,

3 06 2010
Ali Grace

Ah, Sister, Ester,

We absolutely do speak the same language! I am so excited to speak….am out of town thru Sunday. Next week….

You write such words of deep and profound truth…not always a popular thing to hear, but, like you, I am determined to help people get out of their victim vortex! Keep up the Great writing and spreading the message that needs to be heard!!

Love and Light to you!!

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