18 05 2010





There’s Nothing Wrong With You

18 05 2010

When we hear there’s nothing wrong with you we agree most of the time. I mean who’s going to walk around feeling as if we’re broken? But it’s our actions that speak louder than words and many of us walk around feeling and acting as if there’s something we need to fix. There are times in our life though that we would not agree with that statement and start to list all that is wrong with us. We’d talk about how we messed up, what we didn’t accomplish and how insignificant we feel.

This idea that there’s nothing wrong with you started to come into my life during a major shift in my life. 8 years ago I was diagnosed with type 1 Diabetes. At first I went into denial, anger, and a grief I never encountered. I could not believe what had happened to me. I remember sitting in a doctor’s office within the first few weeks of my diagnosis and hearing the words, “the only thing you’ll be able to eat from now on is eggs and bacon.” I did not have the heart to tell him that at the time I did not eat bacon so my life would consist of just eggs. I quickly sought out another doctor who calmed me down, gave me insulin and told me that everything would be ok. I was devastated. I could not be consoled. I remember feeling punished, but most of all broken.

One of the main ideas that frightened me was how we create everything in our lives. I could not accept that I brought this horrible disease into my being. After pondering this thought the shock overwhelmed me. I remembered how I walked around with a constant fear of developing a disease similar to my mother. My mother had a stroke when I was seven. I spent my whole life taking care of her, but more important doing everything I can do to be as healthy as I can, so as not to create a similar fate. Is it possible that my thoughts of fear of disease created the disease in the first place? I became angry at myself and felt as if I broke myself. I began an urgent search to get rid of this thing in my body which caused me to be broken, not perfect, not as good as those around me. I became a victim. I hated how I felt and hated myself for feeling this way.

My search went no where, I went to every expert, alternative medicine doctor, traditional doctor and everything in between with no luck. I studied every philosophy and every modality of healing I could get my hands on, with still needing to take insulin everyday and dealing with highs and lows on a regular basis.

On my path of discovery I went to see Deepak Chopra give a talk. It was at the time his movie, The Seven Spiritual Laws came out. We saw the movie, saw him speak and got to ask him questions. The movie discusses how laws of the universe are set. Just as there is the law of gravity there are seven spiritual laws. He goes on to explain what they are and how we can live our lives using these laws to create the life we want.

During the question and answer period I decided to go up and ask him a question. I didn’t feel that my question was specifically about the seven spiritual laws but how often would I have a chance to ask Deepak Chopra a question?

I was second in line. I began by explaining how I felt that I practiced all the laws and have seen the shift in my life because of it. The only area I didn’t seem to see the shift was in the matter with Diabetes. I asked him for advice. He smiled and then began to answer.

“well this question although it’s a good one, does not completely have to do with the issue at hand. I can’t go into detail right now simply because then someone with heart disease, cancer ect.. will come up with a similar question. I do recommend my book Perfect Health”.

With that I said thank you and began to walk back to my seat. As I got to my row a middle aged Indian man was sitting in the isle seat. He had a big smile on his face and pulled my hand,   handing me a book. It was the book Perfect Health. My jaw dropped open.

“This is for you.” he said

I told him.
“Oh my God! Thank you. but it’s yours.”

“No, Please take it. It’s meant for you.”

I held back tears and sat back in my seat stunned. At the end of the Q and A section, this angel of a man came over to me. He gave me a big bear hug and whispered in my ear,

“You’re not broken. I thought I was coming just to have this book signed. I need to run out which is why I sat in the isle seat but I knew that this book was meant for you. There is nothing for you to fix. You are not broken”

When he said those words I realized that I’ve been walking around feeling as if there was something I needed to fix. It was then that a shift came over me. I began to embrace Diabetes. I started to look at all the blessings that came forth since the diagnosis and what I have learned because of it. I looked at all the healers I went to and was amazed at how much I have learned and discovered about me, health, food and medicine.

I realized that Diabetes was not something I had to get rid of but rather embrace. In fact, when I really looked at it I counted more then a dozen blessings that came from having the health issue. One of the many was that I actually became much healthier, ate better, was more aware of my body and was now able to help others heal too. I have since began to refer to Diabetes as the thing that saved my life. Before Diabetes I was an anorexic, bulimic dancer. I now am healthier than ever and have an understanding of food and the working of the subconscious mind and the relation to disease I never would’ve dreamed of. Diabetes still at times drives me crazy but now only lasts minutes of feeling annoyed at a low  or high sugar rather than weeks of grief.

Everything that happens to you is for your good. Who you are is perfect. You are not broken. There is nothing for you to fix. A great exercise to do when you feel that you need to fix something about you or your life is to write down what it is that bothers you and begin to look for the blessings of that situation. If you’re really having a difficult time, then walk around outdoors with a pen and paper and notice the seemingly imperfect people and places and find something beautiful in them. By doing this you’ll be able to then go back and find the same in you.

You are not broken. There is nothing wrong with you. Be you as you are and be it fully. No one else can do this. Only you, always you!

If you or someone you know is going through a shift in their lives and is looking for guidance, healing and support please refer them to my coaching program. I have helped many shift from a painful place to a place of healing and health.

WWW.EstherAdler.com

908 764-5672





Emotions Are Our Friend, Not Our Enemy

11 05 2010

On our path to discover more of who we are, we learn that fear is what causes pain and suffering and love brings healing and blessings. Although this is true, it can create a negative pattern. Each time we feel low, we start to judge ourselves for our low emotions. This will in turn create a spiraling effect of more intense anger, fear or depression deepening our self judgement. When life happens, it doesn’t matter who we are. We all go through shifts and waves. We feel low at times and through that move through the wave and come back to our more happy, inspirational self. With the great shift toward oneness and inspiration happening on the planet, a lot of forget that it’s a spiritual journey. We don’t need to be “perfect” all the time. I love what Osho, a great spiritual guide has to say about this.

“Sadness can become a very enriching experience. You have to work on it. It is easy to escape from your sadness — and all relationships ordinarily are escapes; one simply goes on avoiding it. And it is always there underneath… the current continues. Even in relationship it erupts many times. Then one tends to throw the responsibility on the other, but it is not the real thing. It is your loneliness, your own sadness. You have not settled with it yet, so it will erupt again and again.”

When my spiritual journey began my life created tremendous waves at times. Some of the waves were so huge that when it hit the shore, an explosion occurred. This created emotional waves so forceful that it took my breath away. I felt out of control. But it was through my emotions that I was able to rise out of the ashes, see the sun again and move to higher mountain.

I love to use nature as my teacher. Nature is perfect, simple and always there. There is no asking, wanting. It just is. Nature experiences waves and goes for the ride. It understands how pointless it is to resist. When the storm settles so do the trees, grass, animals and birds.

The key  that helped me through my emotional rides was walking through nature and experiencing presence. The energy I felt from the trees around me, the soft flow of the stream next to me or the harmonious song of the birds above me brought me to the perfection of that moment. I noticed my emotions as well, as if I was looking from the outside in and realized that my emotions are not me. They are just a wave that I was experiencing.

When we are experiencing an eruption in our life, the point is not to see how happy we can be despite what’s going on. The point is to move with the wave, allow whatever is coming up to come up and become extremely present. In the presence we can begin to see what our life situation is really all about,move through it and begin a new story. Through our emotional waves we can learn more of what serves us and what no longer we wish to own. We can begin to write a new story and create waves that are adventurous instead of paralyzing. We can learn the blessings of each wave, each experience and each emotion we have. Our emotions are what gives us depth. There are traps though we must become aware of.

The problem lies with not feeling emotional, but getting stuck there. If we tend to go through something and remain stuck in a negative pattern then our emotions took us over. We victimize ourselves instead of moving beyond the situation and our feelings. What this ends up doing is moving into our body in the form of disease or moves into our life experience in the form of more of those life experiences that brought us to that negative spiral to begin with.

If we learn to use our emotions efficiently then we can shift, grow and create a new pattern and a new life. How do we do this?

The key is presence! When you feel emotional become very still. Tune into your body and feel where in your body the emotion is. Notice the talk your mind is creating. Become the observer of your own body and mind. Do this for at least 5-10 minutes. When you are complete, write down your experience. By bringing attention to your body and mind you’ll be amazed at what you’ll learn and how you can shift in that moment. Presence brings to you that immediate relief. When you are fully present you realize how perfect everything truly is. It is from this place that you can shift and begin the healing process, creating nothing short of miracles.





Moving From Judgment To Love

6 05 2010

I find it amazing how most people spend almost every waking moment in judgement. They are either judging another or they are judging themselves. When quieting my mind and completely focusing on the present moment judgment disappears. Our ego will do whatever it takes to bring judgment back because it cannot survive without it. This war inside ourselves creates imbalances that show up as physical illnesses, painful circumstances or other forms of trauma to affirm our own judgements.

Judgment comes from fear. We fear that we are not good enough as we are. We fear we need to do something, accomplish something, acquire something or be something in order to be loved. These ideas are planted into our mind from a very young age.  From the time we heard our first no, or “be seen and not heard” judgments were planted in our mind. We began to learn ideas such as we are not good enough just being. Our behavior needs to change in order for us to be approved. We began a spiraling action of acting according to how we felt other people wanted us to act or be. Even if we stuck up for ourselves at times and did what “we” wanted, that came from usually from a fear based thought. We fought against a force we called our parents, teachers or guides and did what we wanted to do. At the end we wondered why we felt unhappy. It’s because we just did what we were taught and said no to one person and maybe even just unconsciously said yes to others. Maybe we felt a need to dress a certain way in order to make friends, even if we felt uncomfortable. Maybe we got a job in order to “fit in” to society.  We seem to struggle in our work, at home and even at things we do for fun. We are constantly comparing ourselves, losing ourselves and doing what we can to live up to some kind of idea, usually not our own. How can we truly begin to stop the judgment and start to live from our own truth? As long as we are living from someone else’s idea about ourselves true happiness and peace will never be our experience.

I recently did a project where I wanted to see if I can get people out of their shell, help them experience something fun and different, and allow them to be completely free for 20 seconds. I approached random people and explained to them that I’m doing a project to find out if 20 seconds of movement of any kind can shift one’s energy. I asked if they would be inclined to participate and allow me to film them. What I got was staggering, entertaining and mind blowing.

There was one group of women sitting and chatting on a field of grass while they waited for their girls to finish playing soccer. I strolled over to them and started to chit chat with them for a moment before explaining my project to them. They seemed nice but became very guarded with my approach.

I then began to explain what I was doing and asked if they wanted to participate. 3 out of the 4 women seemed interested in trying it out. I saw smiles prop up and sheer amusement with my request. There was one lady who remained seated on the grass with walls so visibly put up I felt if I took a knife I’d be able to slice through her force. She began to say that she simply did not have time for this and she’ll pass. As soon as she said those words all her friends promptly sat down and came up with the same excuse. I then asked if they would want my business card so I can send them the link to the project when I was done. The same stand offish lady began to say how she had no time for my work between 3 kids and various projects she did. I smiled, thanked them for their time and left.

I was amazed at how the other three women followed the lead of the guarded friend. I wondered how many other times they’ve wanted to do something and didn’t for fear of not being included in their exclusive friendship. How did that carry off in the rest of their lives? Was their lives lived through the truth of their friend, husband, children?

I approached a mother with two kids and had a nice conversation with her. She seemed quiet, friendly and a bit tired. I then began to explain my project and noticed how quickly her guards went up. I explained that I work with children and do creative movement with them all the time. I thought it would be fun to have kids in the video. She told me that she is very guarded and had trust issues. She did not want her children to be involved. I was amazed at this. I simply could not understand why so many people seemed to be so weary and guarded. All of this took place in one of the most affluent areas in Southern California. I thought if there’s so much mistrust and walls put up in a wealthy environment is the same true in a poor one? I did not have time up to this point to explore that but my intuition has been telling me that unless one is proven trustworthy most people will automatically put walls up and close themselves off. They are mainly scared of how they will look with the stranger, rather than being scared of the stranger themselves.

There were groups who I didn’t have to ask twice. When I told them about my project they jumped at the opportunity and went fully into it. I noticed that I was only able to reach people and open them up to the project if they were already open. People open to life welcome new opportunities every moment. Their lives are lived with ease and playfulness and it wouldn’t matter if they were talking, walking, reading, dancing or meditating. Every moment would be a new, wondrous experience.

I was left wondering what stopped some from opening up to a fun, different experience and others jumped at it. I asked myself why some people are open to new ideas and others don’t even understand it and feel threatened by a new thought.  I realized that it was one theme, one idea that disabled people from opening up. Judgement! Judgment of themselves was the main inhibitor. Their fear of what if someone saw me dancing? What if I look like a fool?  There were those that participated who I found were looking around with a “I feel so silly” smirk on their faces  and only put half their heart into it. They were extremely self conscious. There were only a few groups who went completely out and put their whole self into the movement. They seemed to have the best time and a  significant change in energy occurred as a result. I wondered how I could help more open up.

I remembered a class I gave in a fitness studio in New Jersey. It was a dance class where the women learned a dance routine and followed the teacher while performing it. One day I told them

“we’ll start the class off differently. let’s do something fun, something to open you up to freer movement, something that’s silly and creative.”

I began to lead them into creative movement exercises where they were able to move exactly how they pleased based on a word I used. The exercise was meant to completely free them and invite them to explore. All the women stood there dumbfounded and refused to do the exercise. I was shocked and dismayed at their refusal to a new challenge. I began the typical routine and we had a good class.

Movement was the tool I used to help open up the different souls around me. But you can do this with anything. A great exercise and practice is to do something everyday out of your comfort zone. Do something that scares you everyday. Notice what happens in that moment. I use movement since there’s so much misconception and fear around it. Movement is healing and a great way to practice doing things that feel uncomfortable. What happens as a result is miraculous. The very thing you feared becomes your savior and your path to a new you. I briefly did this as an ice skater. Everyday I put myself on the ice and performed acts that took my breath away. Each time my body left the ice I wondered if it’ll land  safely. Each time it did exhilaration followed. Another great way to feel this is going into nature, nature hikes, boating or anything different than your normal path. The greater the difference, the greater a shift you’ll feel. Notice how present you are doing what fears you. Are there judgments in that moment? Everyone whose skydiving has said that that’s the most present they have ever been. During that moment you probably won’t be thinking of how the guy cut you off or the bills you have to pay. Most likely all you’re thinking of is AHHHHH!!!!

We spend so much of our time in judgment. The truth is that the more we open up and free ourselves from following ideas that others laid out for us the more in alignment we’ll feel. We’ll begin to attract situations into our lives that are more in alignment with who we truly are. By becoming aware of our thoughts and noticing how much is occupied with judgment, we can begin to shift. Our ego cannot survive in the present moment. It cannot survive from pure love. It therefore creates stories and situations to induce fear,  take us out of the present moment and into the past or future. That’s when we enter into judgment of ourselves or another. By staying present we can begin another story, one of that is truly alive and brings us to pure ecstasy.

My book is coming out really soon. 🙂 There, you’ll find more on how to shift from a victim (self judgement) to a warrior (pure love).

If you or someone you know is in need of support my coaching program can help you shift from a painful place to a place of healing, peace and fulfillment. Please call at 908 764-5672

Please visit my website for more inspiration at WWW.EstherAdler.com