The Power Of Forgiveness

12 03 2010

Do you ever notice a dog, how it’ll bark the whole day when you’re gone, get all worked up and as soon as you walk in the door all it gives you is love? There are no hard feelings, no, “where have you been?”, “How come you locked me up the whole day?” A dog does not hold any grudges. Little children neither. If you look at a toddler you’ll notice how she will kick her arms and legs, scream at the top of her lungs and then when she’s done with that go right back to loving you.

I think back to when my children were young. All they had was love for me. As time went on they learned how to hold grudges. In fact I noticed how my middle one literally would look toward her older sister to see how she should react to what I was telling her. At those times I wished some magical being would swoop my teenage daughter out of the house so my younger girl can make her own decisions.

In my life I have had to learn the art and act of forgiveness countless times. At first I held on to my victim role thinking that by making the other person wrong, holding that grudge firm would actually help me. What I didn’t realize at that time was simply all that was doing was hindering me from being happy. There are many things that people do to us that can seem unforgivable. But it’s only in letting it go and finding love in our hearts again that we can truly heal and be free of that dense energy. To find peace in our hearts and live a life of true happiness, it’s only in forgiveness and compassion that we can find that deep inner peace we all strive for.

Osho says on forgiveness that, “It is not a question of whether a person is worthy or not. The question is whether your heart is ready or not.”

A true understanding of forgiveness is to realize that there are no bad people. Everyone is divine. There are actions that are bad or the opposite of what we would recognize as divine. Perhaps the “soul”, notice my writing on that word, the “soul” purpose to experience that was simply to experience forgiveness. If we understood that there are no accidents then everything that comes our way we would bless, even those actions we deemed horrific.

A master is one that takes every situation and looks for the opportunity, the blessings and love.

As a child I had experienced tremendous physical abuse from my father. The abuse got so great at times I actually thought I would die. I grew up having horrible thoughts of hate and revenge.  As I evolved and began to awaken to a new consciousness I realized that part of my healing was to completely forgive my father. I sat back and realized that he played his part perfectly. He acted as the sadistic,crazy man he is in order to push me to the understanding of what love, surrender, peace and forgiveness is. He got me to experience on the deepest level true love, a place so blissful that only the act of the total opposite could’ve produced it. In order to really experience something we need to understand and experience the opposite.

Many years after the abuse I sat down and decided to write a letter to him. The beginning of the letter dealt with all of the actions he had done to me. There was blame, anger and tremendous pain in the letter. As I continued to write, I began writing words of forgiveness and love. Tears came streaming down my eyes. The letter ended with pure love. There was no anger left. I looked at what I wrote and was overwhelmed with emotion. It was a mixture of love and grief. I realized that I was allowing myself to heal. I had finally let go of all the pent up anger I had toward my father.

I never sent the letter to him. The main purpose of the letter was for me to release the negative and bring forth the positive. That letter proved to be one of the most healing moments of my life.

I did the same exercise to several people who I had felt wronged me. You can be completely justified in how you feel but the only one you are hurting by holding onto your anger is yourself.

If there is someone in your life you would like to forgive, let go or heal from I recommend you try this exercise. Be ready to experience different levels of many emotions. You might be surprised as to how deep some of them are. That’s a really good thing. Don’t be frightened with emotions. Emotions are good. Let them out. Don’t allow anyone to stop your flow of emotions. It’s how you will heal.

Begin with writing down what the “wronged action” is. It can be several or just one. Write down your feelings. When you are done with that begin to find forgiveness in your heart. Try not to stop writing. Allow the flow to continue. Just keep writing, even if it’s jibberish.  Once you have written the forgiveness, see if you can extend love to that person. It might not happen right away. Keep trying. The act of love, no matter how hard you need to try is authentic and very powerful. Once you’ve done that sit in quiet. Allow any emotion that is coming up to flow. Watch and feel as your heavy rock unloads from your spine. Watch the light penetrate to your center and allow the bliss to flow into all your cells.

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One response

2 05 2010
Janice

Hi Esther,

I am a new member as well to bhw. Let’s add each other to our friend list. I am in the process of posting personal pictures. I have not like taken and showing pictures since high school. You see, this is a big challenge for me.

I can truly connect to your stories. For the most part of my of my life, i felt like i did not belong anywhere, nor even with my natural family. You know, for a long time i believed that was only happening to me. I learn over the years i was not alone, because there are many others still just like you and I were.

When i happen to come across BraveHeartWomen Website, i listen to the video, Ellie said, “There are no accidents” I thought bhw web was an accident until she said those words. So i did not pick your blog to respond to by accident, seems scary thou. You are so right, Forgiveness is the healing process for the ones hurting. I also loves nature, and i would takes walks in the woods and park when those hurting emotions came upon me. Your videos are awesome where you are expressing yourself in dancing and nature. It seems like a depth of peace. I am looking forward to reading more of your blogs.

Forgive=Forgiveness,
Janice

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